Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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