Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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