im drinking this country out of the recession.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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