I'm going to jail i love you
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
