How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
