it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
