I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
