The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
