actually, I'm a sock model
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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