Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
