1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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