Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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