then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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