so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
