What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
they call him Oral-B. enough said
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
