I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
3 2 1 whiskey
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
