the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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