...so i touched it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
