ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
