I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
