Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
