Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
