A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
