Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
try to milk me bitch
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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