just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
