i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
last night I used snow as a chaser
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
