you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
