If i come over, it means nothing
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My dick has a subreddit
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
