yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
