3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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