It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
