We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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