with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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