Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize