I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
