you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
