Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
