And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
