I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize