That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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