highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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