how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
