I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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