Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
