yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
