Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
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I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
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I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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