he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
