high people should be assigned attendants
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
