guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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