WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
