i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
