i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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