Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
barbara walters just said penis...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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