So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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