"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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