Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
