There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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