well I can't set my house on fire every night
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
