Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
