hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
